October 21-24, 2011 - 1655

The weekend was a wacky one to be sure. I worked the following schedule: 2300-0700, 1500-2300, 2300-0700, 2300-0700. This change was due to a major event in town, involving record breaking attempts, tons of people and even more produce. I still managed to get in a nice arrest despite my sleep being all discombobulated.

The following lines are in all different kinds of styles, meters, and rhyme sequences. It was actually written at about 0400 on very little sleep and even less activity.

Changes In Shift Don't Mean A Thing To Me


Two days good
Two days slow
Two days of fun
Like only cops know

One on, one off
One fast, one slow
Four days total
Is how a shift goes

Friday and Monday went without note
Saturday and Sunday were busy
First day and last day crawled by
Second and third seemed to fly

Day two of four I worked in the sun
I thought I would burst into flames
My skin is too pale for this sort of fun
Too many people with unknown names

Walked up and down through pumpkins and kids
They tried but I think they fell short
It looked quite impressive, really it did
We'll find out in weeks if they made it or not

The flash bulbs were popping
And video whirring
We were peacekeepers to some
And pariahs to others

Day 3 was a Sunday
An allegedly quiet day
Raining most of the night
Kept it that way

Until around 1:00 am and I saw it
A car with no lights on, I followed it
Drunk driver, inside of it
And bonus veggies to go with it

A cooperative chap, despite his misdeed
He took his charges like a champ
Two hours with us then to a friends house he fleed
From a monied town; he's no tramp

My paperwork done I sit and I write
Changing styles all throughout my verses
But I'm tired and ready to go home this night
And leave my office and it's curses

October 16-17, 2011 - 0715

I titled it that way because it's actually being written several days later. My work PC was acting wonky, and I meant to put this out when I got home, but other things took up my time. Vet appointment with the dog, sleeping only 2 hours or so. It was quite a day. But so were my first two nights of duty. I took off the second two for training.

Pro Tips


Take the advice of a veteran
About 14 years a veteran
When I offer you a chance
Take it

I watched you and your friend
You walked out - staggered out
He got behind the wheel, fired it up
You stood at the curb, whipped it out
That's when we needed to talk

I asked you why
You denied it
I showed you a river of urine
You denied it

Name and birthday made you 18
And drunk. Now I'm angry
Not at you so much - at the bar
Bartender specifically

You said no ID - until I saw it
Now I'm mad at you
You lied to me
Shame, shame, shame

Your friend - too drunk to drive
Or speak coherently
Until the handcuffs go on
Then it's perfectly loud and clear

PRO TIP - If I give you a chance
Take it
Be honest
Don't pee outside

Night two was opposite night
Polite, cooperative, stable
Also drunk as a skunk
Be honest

"I had six beers"
His tests didn't seem like six
His breath said six
At least six, maybe a couple more

He called his wife for a ride
She hung up on him
Twice
Third time, she agreed to get him

PRO TIP #2 - if your wife says
Come home. Listen to her
You honesty is with with me
It goes even further with her

October 11-13, 2011 - 0455

It's been quite a long time since I posted something here. Not due to being overly busy or anything, just being overly tired, lazy, and not having much to write about on the work front.  So I decided to encapsulate the entire shift into one poem. This is only three days, because I had the first night off.

What Could Happen In Only 72 Hours?


As the days grow short and cool
The college drunks are back in school
It was a Monday night fiasco
That we dealt with from the word go

When two groups fight over stupid crap
They never like when I give them flap
Potted plant broken over a head
Like hitting a rock is what I said

And another set of drinking pals
Both active like little animals
One so bombed that he barely stood
In a fellow coppers neighborhood

We spoke for only a minute or two
I'd actually stopped listening - this was true
There'd been no threat only boozy dreams
With beer filled bladder bursting at the seams

Our next night we went to a house
And crept around like a feathered grouse
But our callers eyes were failing him
The only intruder, his basketball rim

The last night found a tire leaking
A screw in the tread was shyly peaking
Letting air out slow and steady
In a different car, I still was ready

October 1, 2011 - 0500

And, welcome to the last quarter of 2011. It was a much more productive night than last night, since I posted nothing yesterday. And despite being harangued by my peer for about an hour and a half, I was able to get out and make an arrest before the bars closed. DUI arrests are probably my favorites. They can be dangerous, without a doubt, but most of the time they are merely entertaining. And for me, even if there isn't anything particularly funny about the contact or tests, it's still satisfying to get a drunk driver off of the streets. Which is what I did tonight.

Day One DUI


The first day of the month of quarter last
As I sat with a partner passing time
I saw a car without lights driving past
Not exactly the most heinous of crimes

But we know that these can lead to something
And so I left our chat to catch the car
Most times it just turns out to be nothing
But late at night I can't let them go far

The smell of booze inside the car was strong
I got her out and made her do my tests
From what I saw her driving now was wrong
This is one of the things that I do best

She refused and soon was sent on her way
And I went back out on the streets to play