National Poetry Writing Month - April 7, 2014

There are some topics that folks don't like to talk about. Politics, religion, money. And suicide. It's a painful fact that sometime, a person feels like their best solution to their problems is to kill themselves. And in my line of work, I have seen the aftermath of that decision and it's impact on family and friends. I have had friends kill themselves and wondered what I could have done to help them. 

There is a certain method out there that comes even closer to the police, and that is suicide by cop. A person has decided that they want to end their life, but can't bring themselves (for whatever reason) to do it. So they will get the police involved and try and goad the officers into taking their life for them. Check out this website for more information about suicide by cop. 

All of that brings me to these lines, wherein I try and describe what happened to me and my shift partner a few days ago. I think you can all tell where it is going.

Wanted His Wings, Didn't Want To Earn Them

Unlike swimming we didn't get to wait 30 minutes

Before being thrown into the deep end of the pool

The call comes into my ear; suicidal subject

More information to come

Setting aside the initial bad information we arrive at the house

Still not sure, still no further, still and quiet we arrive

The son meets me at my squad; he's pale despite his complexion

In the garage is his father; desperate; and armed

I unleash my firearm, not heading into this fray without at least equal footing

My partner has a Taser; I am the lethal coverage

We creep to the garage, me telling the son to go inside

If it goes south, he doesn't need to see it

I spot the father in the corner, his head in his hands

His empty hands

My partner knows him. He seems to know everyone

And in this case I am extraordinarily happy for that

We edge the corner of the open garage door

I still see no weapons and neither does my partner

He calls out to the father. 

His name...Angel

A few minutes of talking and Angel is in the back of the squad

He's going to talk to someone

I check the garage quickly and find it

A shiny, black 45 caliber replica BB gun

Looking at this piece of molded plastic I shook my head

He would have died that night had he presented it

If he had followed through with his sadness

I would have granted him his wish of death that night

But Angel is not an angel today

He lives on with his family and his memories to haunt him

My partner and I live on with ours

And no bad memories to haunt us from this house