March 21, 2019

For World Poetry Day I write these words. They are simple and off the top of my head. Enjoy them.

World Poetry Day 2019

Last night I laid in our bed alone

You were out of town on business

That I understood, as it is the time of year

But this was a different alone

I missed all of you girls

You, and Fiona, and Pepper

My girls were all gone

Even though you are all always with me

I set the timer for two hours

And the sound to a rhythmic tick-tock

I drifted off quickly and then snapped awake

And saw that it had only been a few minutes

There was too much room

My feet were free and unfettered

My shoulders not touching yours

No gentle breathing, from you or them, in my ears

I closed my eyes and pictured you

Your smile, your eyes

I pictured Pepper and her fuzzy ears

Fiona's white face by my face

That was what I needed and to sleep I fell

In my dreams you were there

With Our Girls

And I didn't miss you as much for the night

There's Hope. There's Help

One decision made. Haste. Hurting. Hopeless

Eight hundred, thousand, million questions after. All left unanswered

Two ways to go. To flee from or to fight the monster

Seven days in a week. One at a time is all you should focus on

Three phone calls. Or texts. Or emails. Any way to reach out. Many ways to reach out

Eight days to plan a funeral? It's never enough
Too many things left unsaid. By you. By us
Five on each side of a casket
Five to fold and present a flag of remembrance

- For Mike

Love Beat Poem January 2019

Love is - many things. Complicated and easy. Filled with highs and lows and if anyone knows how to navigate and delegate and mediate - it's you. And me. We. It's simple to see that my love for you is all encompassing. People have all seen how I adore you. Admire you, would do anything. I live for and would die without you.

Love is - deceptively simple and a ton of work. Getting to know every tic and quirk. Each story and tale whether happy or sad, seeing each other glad or mad. Laughing, crying and talking for hours on end. Not wanting the conversation to end. Love is all of this.

Love is - never a drag, no time ever lags. It's wanting to see each naked no matter what sags. It's not letting the little things bother you, telling each other when you're feeling blue, and knowing that feeling is absolutely true. Consolations after bad dreams, silly jokes rolling eyes, plans and schemes.

Love is love is love. Corny but true. And I'll never, for all of my days, stop loving you.

Anniversary #10

Ten years of us, of love, of We

The best ten years of life for me

We’ve shared laughs and tears and pain

But rest assured that I’d go through it again

With you

I haven’t been the best that I could

And I haven’t always done what I should

You given me joy that I barely deserve

You’re the love of my life and that’s for sure

I love you

The best doggie mommy that our girls could have had

Losing them both made us immeasurably sad

But the memories of you with them makes me smile

And the pain of their loss is gone for a while

They love you

We’ve traveled the country and seen the sights

We’ve held hands in the desert and on Alaskan nights

Seen colors of leaves in the autumn Maine sun

And watched herds of animals on the run

Me and you

Ten more years, and then more and more

Together we’ll see what the world has in store

We are the best match and I give you my heart

Forever, together, and never apart

Team R

July 7, 2017 - 1000

I arrested a guy a few weeks ago and he used the phrase "fuckers and whores" and it stuck with me. This is the result.

The world is full of fuckers and whores Blood on new carpet and police car floors
Shoeless, clueless, harmless and arrested
Bested by the best our city has to offer

The world, my world, is where the trains stop and drop
Off the problem children; never one stop south or two stops north
Back and forth between happy and angry
Hurting and certain that we are the ones who hurt him
Both of us bleeding into glass tubes
Because one wouldn't heed the advice of the other

The world is full of highs and lows
And blow by blow it tries to blow you down
A human house made of straw or sticks
We have to be the bricks
That make up the wall
Between right and wrong
Good and evil, the innocent and the hate filled people
Who want to do all of the things that we don't want them to

The world is full of themFuckers and whores

July 6, 2017

Blue skies and birds

Bushes with bugs and bright green leaves

Gentle breeze blowing around my face and feet

Flag fluttering to and fro

Branches bending toward the sun

The scent of the flowers flowing

Chirping and clucking from above and below

Wind chimes singing their high pitched song

Not another person stirring

I simply sit without hurry

Sipping coffee, reading slowly

Knowing that this is a paradise

No cares, no worries, no need to get up

Hearing music from my house

As it creaks and shifts under its own weight

Dogs barking in the distance

The hustle and hum of a city

Doesn't compare to this shush and shudder

The peace of the neighborhood

Unbroken by horns and trains and that rush of life

It's been a couple of weeks since we bid a fond and teary farewell to our beloved Fiona. She was such a good dog, like our other wonderful pooch Pepper (aka Pepperoni) that her loss is felt quite sharply. And it's not just that there's no little nose greeting us at the door when we get home. There are numerous things that aren't there any more. 

I Don't Miss What I Miss

Things I don’t have to worry about now that Team R is only two members:

Not having room at the foot of the bed

Not feeling a wet nose on my head

Chilly walks by the moonlight

Grunts and woofs in the middle of the night

Brushing teeth and the stinky breath

Trimming nails and feet that smell like death

A sore back from giving a bath

A smiling smirk as I pick up the trash

Spots of saliva on the chair arms

Adjusting the blinds so that there’s proper warmth

Appointments and pills on a peanut butter spoon

A sigh of annoyance as I walk into the room

But...now that Team R is only two members I miss

Sore knees from keeping my legs bent

Seeing the noses, asleep and bent

Talking and walking on our walks

Watching you dream and hearing you talk

Treats after cleaning your teeth in the morn

Watching you sleep as I would grind down the claws

Lifting you both in and out of the tub

The looks of innocence; the looks of love

Hearing your tongue as it ran along the chair

Making sure of the temperature of the air

Seeing the doctor's smile when they see you

Hearing your sigh whenever I’d near you

I’d give anything to have you both back, but you won’t ever leave us. Team R will always be

Pepper

and Fiona

and Mommy

and Me