I'm back today to put more words on the page for a very special member of Team R. It was 2 years ago that we lost her and it still hurts us. We talk about her all the time, make jokes at her expense, and tell stories of her exploits. But mostly, we miss her. So very much.
The Loss Is Great, The Memories Are The Same
I woke early today with her top of mind
The kind of mind that wonders about the loss of family
And wanders from memory to memory of her fuzzy face
Missing from this place for two years
Two years to the day, she went away and we had to say
Goodbye. Farewell our friend. It was the end of her days
It seemed like that day wouldn't end, it replays over and over in my mind
Again and again that fateful day that I knew would come
But I didn't want it to. I wanted it to never come
To somehow pass us by. To let her lie with us forever
And ever in our heart and home, never gone. Never gone
And she isn't. She's always with us in our hearts
Some days are easy. I'm too busy to be sad for her
I don't stop and think how much she would have liked a cookie
Or fries from my plate. But on this date I know they won't wait
They'll invade me like invaders at the castle gate
I won't stop them. I let the memories come in and ransack my mind
I let them flood over me like tidal waters breaking a dam
I let them wash away my anger of not thinking of her
Cleaning my heart with my own tears
I miss her. We miss her, every day that she isn't laying on the bed
Is another day that we are reminded that we are one less
There will always be four members of the team
Always the four forever and ever more
It isn't the memories that hurt us the most. Those are what keep her alive
For us, for me, it's the thought that I will forget her
That I will let her slip from my mind and be gone from the team
That is the most painful. That she would be only a dream
So I keep the pictures close at hand, on my phone and in my office
In my direct line of sight so that I might never let her go
Even though...she is gone
She's never gone from my mind
Every second, of every minute, of every day she's with us
In some way. Whether it's a small picture on a phone
Or a piece of cloth wrapped around a lamp or on a leash
A tag on a chain, or simply a memory burning in our brains
