November 14, 2015 - 2300

The words come, the words go. The ones that stick around end up first on paper and then on this screen.

I love listening to music of all kinds. I have an eclectic collection of everything from A to Z. Pop, rock, metal, punk, opera, classical, ska. You name it I probably have a song in that genre. And with that come a lot of memories attached to songs. Some are guaranteed to bring a smile to my face as I travel back in my mind to the time that is being invoked by that tune. Others make me so sad that I only need to hear a few bars of the beginning and the tears well up in my eyes and I have to change the song.

This is about the latter.

It Isn't Their Fault, But It Isn't Fair

Driving to work, listening to a CD

I cried. A song reminds me so much

of that sweet, sweet pup

That I can't listen to it any more

It's stupid. It's only a song

And a good one as well

But it's forever tied to her

And her being gone. It's ruined

October 9, 2015 - 0900

As one can probably guess I am an animal lover. Of most kinds, but the small furry ones hold a special place. I am soft like that, but in my line of work if you have to have a soft spot I think that it should be for children, the elderly, and animals. It will keep you humble and remind you that there is not just bad in the world.

The downside is that occasionally the bad will intrude on the good. Children are abused. The elderly are neglected. And animals are injured and killed. This is from a call that I was on a few weeks ago but only now found the words on the page.

Bandit

I got called to a dying animal tonight

Raccoon. Generally thought of as just a ring-tailed rat

Giant vermin stealing garbage

And creeping me out with their tiny hands

But this was a little one. A pup

Or cub or whatever a baby raccoon is called

Maybe a year old at the most

With it's tiny paws (hands?) flexing

With each labored breath

A small part of me died with it

I didn't want it to suffer

But there was nothing for me to do

In front of a school is no place to shoot an animal

But in front of a school is no place to die

I'll check on him periodically

And when he's gone we'll both rest easier

October 8, 2015 - 0900

Hearing about another dog leaving the world and her people always makes me reflect on our sweet girl. I know that I've written thousands of words about Pepper, but that's how it goes. And most of them have been sad and that's how that goes as well.

This is one that came to me when I was in my car at work and a shadow crossed my vision. There was nothing there when I turned my head but it got me thinking.

Grey Ghost

When I feed our dog

Sometimes I hear two sets of feet

Clicking across the floor

In the kitchen

I know there's only one dog

But I also feel like she's there

Her stubby tail wagging

To and fro

When I'm watching TV

Or reading I see our dog

Sleeping and sometimes I

Glimpse her going up the stairs

I don't really but I think I do

Her wide hips switching

Left and right as she

Hops up each riser

When I'm laying in bed

With a book or device in hand

I think I feel her jump

Onto the bed by my feet

I know she's not there

She left us three years ago

But in my mind I see her

Hear her. And always miss her

October 7, 2015 - 1500

It's been a long time since I've written anything here, or at all. The inspiration to write isn't always with me and that leads to long periods where I don't write anything at all. Then something happens and I put pen to page. Literally. I will hand write everything first, revise it so that I like what I've written and then type it out for this place.

In this instance, a friend has had to make the horribly difficult decision to take her faithful dog on that last car ride. Anyone who's a dog owner or pet owner knows how heartbreaking this is. I actually called it "heart crushing" because that's what happened to me and my wife when that decision was made at our house. It's been three years and we still talk about, laugh about, and sometimes even cry about Pepperoni.

So this is for you Lucy. Beloved companion to a friend. Anyone who knows will understand.

For Lucy

We found out last night

That a friends dog had reached
The end of her days

Her time had come

She wasn't even my dog

But I cried. I was sad

Thinking of a friend who

Has to make such a decision

I was also sad for my dog

Gone these three years plus

But sitting in an urn

On our dresser. Still wearing her collar

And I was sad for our dog

A gray-faced gray; tail still whippy

But easily injured and slowing

From her puppy like ways

I'm sad for all of these things

Dogs and people and urns

Gray faces and stubby tails

And all of the dogs I don't even know