October 30, 2013 - 1230

Today would have been the 15th birthday of our wonderful, sweet doggie Pepper. We said good-bye to her last June and every day we think about her, talk about her in some way, look at something that reminds us of her. Her memory will live on with us forever and in that way, she gets to live on forever. Since it's her birthday we wanted to do something for her memory. I'm not good at coming up with ideas like this, and even more so when there is such strong emotion attached to it. But, as I was thinking of her and missing her on her special day today, I came up with these words for her. Happy Birthday Pepperoni. We love you. We miss you.

509 Days

It's been 509 days since we said good-bye to you

I've grown 509 new gray hairs in your memory

I've shed 509 tears at your loss

I've said I love you 509 times

509 thoughts of you have passed through my mind

And 509 more. And more. And more

509 pictures of other dogs who look like you

Not one of them is as wonderful. You're 509 times better than they

In those 509 days I've talked about you

To at least 509 people, or so it seems

Maybe I've just talked to myself 509 times about you

So that I can never forget you

Your face has appeared to me 509 times

Pictures, video, thoughts and dreams - 509 memories

Frozen in my mind for the last 509 days

And each time, 509 times, it's made me smile

I know that no other could take your place

509 others could walk through my life and not be you

I wouldn't try. It would be 509 times as hard to replace you

So I won't. It's 509 times as easy to not

Someone could give me 509 reasons to let go

That these 509 days were wasted thinking about you

They'd be wrong. I haven't wasted 509 days by remembering you

I've relived 13 years with you.

September 11, 2013 - 1410

This past week saw a flurry of activity at the work place. Several arrests on one case that is one that shakes even the most hardened officer to his or her core. Child pornography, sexual abuse of a child, and on and on. The outcome was very different in real life, but the ending of this poem is all too real.

Regrets and No Regrets

What does he think of when he thinks of her?

Does he see long term love

In a child's eyes and body

Or is it the body he sees in his eyes?

Smooth, young, taut, untouched

Innocent eyes, trusting soul

Unknowing mind, thinking that this wrong is right

But not saying no to the right wrong

Does he see a in her a wife?

A woman child mother of future children

Is it deep in his soul that he loves her

Or is it deep somewhere else that his feelings reside in

She shakes inside of her t-shirt and shorts

The hand on her leg, feels wrong; dirty; shameful

She can't say no or he'll tell mother

It's her fault is what she is told

He was sure he'd get away with it with her

Scared into silence as he has his way

Gave her money and clothes and phones

In return for her body, mind and innocence

She says he's her boyfriend and pretends she loves him

While he loves her, she cries inside; dies inside

Her little girl days are gone forever

And she can't tell her mom because it's her fault

Braver and bolder, now he wants her pictures

Phone to phone so he can see her always

Share her with his friends phones

Relive his "love" when she's not with him

More and more she is sad inside; cries and cries

She can't take any more of the "love" she's been shown

Boyfriend is a monster; mother...can't tell her

She has no friends; she is alone

Her new phone rings and rings; he wants a "date"

When she doesn't answer he's confused and angry

Did she tell? Are the police onto him?

Is their romance over? Run or stay is what's on his mind

Mother comes home and sees the bag and books

TV is on too loud again. She has to leave soon

Three jobs is what it takes to make the rent

And food on the table for girls home alone

She was found in the closet

Her favorite pink belt coiled around her throat

New phone open to her pictures to him

A note on the bed said only "I'm sorry."

September 4, 2013 - 1020

I've heard and read that if you're going to write, you should stick with what you know. It makes it easier and you'll be more prolific and happier with what you have put down. So, I started thinking about what I know, and what I like to write about.

Calliope, Erato, and Thalia

I didn't want to stick with just writing about my dogs

or my job or my family

But that's all that inspires me

These three things are my muses

I don't want to bore the readers with

how I think about my sweet dog not being with us any more

How sometimes I laugh about her and sometimes I cry

and she's been gone for over a year

I didn't want people to think that I was only the police

and that all I could tell them were stories about drunks

and fights, and blood and pain

But some days that's my job

I was not really willing to tell everybody how much I care

about my wife; how much she inspires me every day

To be a better man that I ever thought I could be

But it's the truth. She does

Zoomies and whippy tails and squeaky toys

Lights and sirens and radios

Smiles and warmth and love

This is what I love to write about

June 6, 2013 - 0030

Once again I am back here with some words for you. I was on a short break when I got caught in a hole called YouTube. My subscriptions are mainly gun related, with a smattering of humor and a bit of workout motivation. But now and then I leave the suggestions and venture out into the wild, wild YouTube and search for something more. And tonight I found myself listening to poetry, and to be specific slam poetry. As I listened to the words that these wonderful writers had come up with it hit me.

I Am What I've Always Been

Do you know what I can't write?

Slam Poetry

Because I've never had to fight 

or rise up against the strife

of the Man keeping me down

I am white and middle class through and through

The police were and still are my friends true

Even when I did wrong as a child

I knew. And I was sorry for my indiscretions

Stealing, lying, speeding. These were my crimes

Sent to my room to do hard time

with my bed, and books, and the view of

maple and oak trees. Hardened criminal

More like hardly a criminal. I was vanilla

Still am in many ways. Almost every day I

listen to metal, and punk...and Mozart

Yo! You hear that Sonata No.4? Shits tight!

That's right. I'm the guy who doesn't like to fight

Who covers his head and feet at night

One hand reaching out to pet the dog and

fall asleep so that everything is all right

I can listen to slam poets and I'm moved

Almost to tears by their words, the

verbal manifestations of hopes and dreams and fears

And know that isn't me. I'm not afraid

of what they're afraid of. Police helicopters above

No mother while growing up to give love

Father abandoning me when I was young

Bullied in the halls at school, pushed and shoved

That's not me. I was a different kid

And now a different man. Odd man out

Picked last in games because I was gangly

and spindly and uncoordinated without a doubt

But my folks were there for me

When I was in the school play they came to see

I had a real speaking part too

Not just in the background as a tree

I didn't get bullied in the halls

I was unmolested in the spring and fall

And as I grew up I knew that 

I would be okay. It didn't have to get better for me

And that's why I can't write slam poetry

April 6, 2013 - 2215

I wanted to write something about politics and how I feel about certain issues that are foremost in the news right now, but I had nothing. I am pro-gun, pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-police. I am liberal with certain conservative leanings. I don't follow politics because I find it mind-numbingly boring. There, that's what I wanted to say about that, but I didn't have the poetic words to say so.

I just watched a video on YouTube of a poetry reading/spoken word performance by Andrea Gibson. It was phenomenal. 12 minutes, three pieces and at the end I had exactly zero words. Amazing. Watch it and enjoy it. It also made me think about some things. About me and my wife and our marriage. I haven't always been the best husband, but overall we are pretty damn good together. Everyone can see it, we don't try and hide it. But we have gay friends that don't get the same things that we get. Living in a big city, they can be together and no one really bats an eye, but as of this writing they can't be married in that city. They can't go through that ceremony in front of their friends and family and say the vows. There are civil unions, but as I heard someone say recently (and I wish I could remember because I would totally give them credit for it), certain words have MEANING. And marriage is one of them.

Untitled Poem Number Whatever

As it stands before the Supremes

Not Diana and the girls

But the nine justices in D.C.

Here's hoping that they realize what justice is

It's not justice that a man can't marry his boyfriend

Like so many hasty Las Vegas girls can marry theirs

It's not justice that a girl can't marry their girlfriend

Like young eloping boys can run off and marry theirs

"Justice" Antonin Scalia has it wrong

And if he were to read my words and want to speak in person

Privately or publicly I would tell him to his face

You sir, have it wrong.

Is it justice for my friends and the friends of others I know

That if my wife and long time companion goes into the hospital

That I can see her, be with her, make decisions for her

When others cannot for their long time companions

Can "teh gays" raise a child? This is a question too?

In my job, after many many years

I wonder if some straight parents deserve the children that they have

When I see dirty clothes, squalid homes, broken bones and dreams.

\

It makes me angry that my friends have found their one

The one that they love, honor, cherish

But the ceremonies and the rites that were afforded to me

Aren't the same ceremonies and rights that they have as well.

March 28, 2013 - 1400

As I took the dog out for her afternoon walk, I marveled at the day. It was warm, clear, sunny, and well...just nice. It made me hope that this was the beginning of the end of winter.

Kicking the sticks and leaves away from the drain

I watched the melting snow rush into the sewer

She sniffed and snorted at the newly exposed ground

Old smells now new to her again

Sprigs of green were sprouting from the brown

New pine cones could be seen forming

Birds of all kinds were perched on the eaves of houses

Their songs echoing around the neighborhood

More and more, commuters were ditching four wheels for two

Or for none. A brisk walk in a heavy coat and boots

Traded for lighter wear and sunglasses

Rewards for a spring in their step and in the air

Squirrels still fat from winter sleep run around the yards

Digging for their hidden stash of acorns under the trees

Robins, cardinals, sparrows, and mourning doves

All making themselves known to anyone who would listen

As I watched I wondered and hoped that this was it

That this was the last gasp of winter

And that spring had made its triumphant return

Bringing it warmth to the world once again

January 28, 2013 - 0900

This originally started out as what I call a "snippet". Just a little bit of verse or a few lines that I save and hope to fill out into something later. I ended up writing the whole thing in about 20 minutes.

Coyotes

It was the deepest part of the night

Just before it becomes morning

As the dog and I walked

In our dark neighborhood

From my right I heard

A coyote bay

A sharp, long, lonely sound

A lost friend. A sad cry

We walked on; it didn't seem close

But who could tell

Echoes and trees have a way

Of distorting a sounds direction

Then from the left

Another coyote calls

Answering a friends call

Friends finding friends in the blackness

At first, I smiled

Nature at it's most natural

Two scavenger-predators

Out for a meal and a chat

But the baying kept on

My dog, oblivious to the potential danger

Kept at the business of her business

Nose to the ground, ears missing her kin

I understood what was happening

At least, I felt like I did

We were being watched

We were being followed

Turning us back towards the house

The call and respond followed

Down the sidewalk and to the driveway

Never getting closer, always following

I let out my breath as we went inside

They couldn't get in our house

My grip relaxed on the butt of my pistol

My dog begged for her treat

January 21, 2013 - 0900

Friends I Don't Even Know

I get the notifications daily

Or, at least on the day that they happen

Another officer killed in the line of duty

Another hero gone from the world

The number was the lowest in years

Decades

Tell that to the families left behind

Tell that to the children who are a parent short now

As I read the stories of their demise

I wonder and worry

About people I don't even know

Virtual cops

I wonder about @Mia_Ria

On the job with her children at home

I am concerned about @SuburbanFiveOh

And his recent switch to the midnight shift

I know only a little about @ShadowCoPodcast

But when the stream went eerily quiet

I hoped that he was okay

And that work had just become "work"

Others, like @TheMalligator and @LPD5408

Are still active and prolific

I know they are doing well

But I still am concerned for my brothers in blue

I wouldn't even know if something happened to them

Unless it showed up on the feed

In the timeline

If it were news, I'd never know it was them

I know ours is a dangerous job

We have loved ones who care for us

Who worry about us, want us home safely at night

I am a stranger to these officers, but I worry and care too

January 13, 2013 - 0900

Random Limerick Time!

It's hard to stay focused while working

Many things make my eyes herky-jerking

But I'll knuckle down

Because I'm not a clown

Leaving loose ends all a-quirking

My Baby and I are so happy

When we are awake or taking a nappy

We hold hands and kiss

It's a treat I won't miss

I agree when they say we are sappy

The weather dropped way too down low

I wonder how far it will go

It's too cold to for snowing

And the wind keeps on blowing

So in my toasty car I go patrol

January 7, 2013 - 0900

Welcome Back Poet, We Missed You

I know that it has been a while

Since I have written here

And so I hope to add more rhymes

Throughout the coming year

And not to be so sad and dour

To bring some happy thoughts

So everyone can read and smile

With the haves and the have-nots

If I miss a week or two

Don’t fret and don’t lament

I didn’t forget my place to write

I’ll be back to make a dent

In the minds of those who read

My silly little lines

And maybe make you stop and think

Deeply, from time to time