Anniversary #10

Ten years of us, of love, of We

The best ten years of life for me

We’ve shared laughs and tears and pain

But rest assured that I’d go through it again

With you

I haven’t been the best that I could

And I haven’t always done what I should

You given me joy that I barely deserve

You’re the love of my life and that’s for sure

I love you

The best doggie mommy that our girls could have had

Losing them both made us immeasurably sad

But the memories of you with them makes me smile

And the pain of their loss is gone for a while

They love you

We’ve traveled the country and seen the sights

We’ve held hands in the desert and on Alaskan nights

Seen colors of leaves in the autumn Maine sun

And watched herds of animals on the run

Me and you

Ten more years, and then more and more

Together we’ll see what the world has in store

We are the best match and I give you my heart

Forever, together, and never apart

Team R

July 7, 2017 - 1000

I arrested a guy a few weeks ago and he used the phrase "fuckers and whores" and it stuck with me. This is the result.

The world is full of fuckers and whores Blood on new carpet and police car floors
Shoeless, clueless, harmless and arrested
Bested by the best our city has to offer

The world, my world, is where the trains stop and drop
Off the problem children; never one stop south or two stops north
Back and forth between happy and angry
Hurting and certain that we are the ones who hurt him
Both of us bleeding into glass tubes
Because one wouldn't heed the advice of the other

The world is full of highs and lows
And blow by blow it tries to blow you down
A human house made of straw or sticks
We have to be the bricks
That make up the wall
Between right and wrong
Good and evil, the innocent and the hate filled people
Who want to do all of the things that we don't want them to

The world is full of themFuckers and whores

July 6, 2017

Blue skies and birds

Bushes with bugs and bright green leaves

Gentle breeze blowing around my face and feet

Flag fluttering to and fro

Branches bending toward the sun

The scent of the flowers flowing

Chirping and clucking from above and below

Wind chimes singing their high pitched song

Not another person stirring

I simply sit without hurry

Sipping coffee, reading slowly

Knowing that this is a paradise

No cares, no worries, no need to get up

Hearing music from my house

As it creaks and shifts under its own weight

Dogs barking in the distance

The hustle and hum of a city

Doesn't compare to this shush and shudder

The peace of the neighborhood

Unbroken by horns and trains and that rush of life

It's been a couple of weeks since we bid a fond and teary farewell to our beloved Fiona. She was such a good dog, like our other wonderful pooch Pepper (aka Pepperoni) that her loss is felt quite sharply. And it's not just that there's no little nose greeting us at the door when we get home. There are numerous things that aren't there any more. 

I Don't Miss What I Miss

Things I don’t have to worry about now that Team R is only two members:

Not having room at the foot of the bed

Not feeling a wet nose on my head

Chilly walks by the moonlight

Grunts and woofs in the middle of the night

Brushing teeth and the stinky breath

Trimming nails and feet that smell like death

A sore back from giving a bath

A smiling smirk as I pick up the trash

Spots of saliva on the chair arms

Adjusting the blinds so that there’s proper warmth

Appointments and pills on a peanut butter spoon

A sigh of annoyance as I walk into the room

But...now that Team R is only two members I miss

Sore knees from keeping my legs bent

Seeing the noses, asleep and bent

Talking and walking on our walks

Watching you dream and hearing you talk

Treats after cleaning your teeth in the morn

Watching you sleep as I would grind down the claws

Lifting you both in and out of the tub

The looks of innocence; the looks of love

Hearing your tongue as it ran along the chair

Making sure of the temperature of the air

Seeing the doctor's smile when they see you

Hearing your sigh whenever I’d near you

I’d give anything to have you both back, but you won’t ever leave us. Team R will always be

Pepper

and Fiona

and Mommy

and Me

February 1, 2016 - 0900

Yesterday was the culmination of two of the worst days off in my life. It started fine and then spiraled down into the bottom of a pit that all pet owners eventually end up in. Our beautiful, sweet, gentle pup Fiona left us. She'd been slowing lately, but we had no idea what was actually going on. When we found out what her actual malady was, the choice was clear. Painful, but clear.

This is for her. For all of the dogs who don't live long enough. For the owners who cry at their loss. For the memories that last forever.

Gone Too Soon

She was only nine and a half when she departed

After a long day that scared us all

Staying in strange places. With strange people

Not being able to be near us

I wonder what was in her mind

Was she lonely? I know I was without her

There was too much room at the foot of the bed

Without her there

Was she scared? We were, not knowing what was wrong

Unable to help her in any way

Feeling helpless while she was taken to and fro

From table to table

When we finally got the answers we were stunned

There were silent tears

This was it. This was the last time

She would be with us

And so, after the papers were taken care of

She was put on a soft, warm bed

And then with her pillow under her head

And her family by her side

She closed her eyes the one last time

And drifted away peacefully

Leaving her broken shell behind

She was only nine and a half when she departed

November 14, 2015 - 2300

The words come, the words go. The ones that stick around end up first on paper and then on this screen.

I love listening to music of all kinds. I have an eclectic collection of everything from A to Z. Pop, rock, metal, punk, opera, classical, ska. You name it I probably have a song in that genre. And with that come a lot of memories attached to songs. Some are guaranteed to bring a smile to my face as I travel back in my mind to the time that is being invoked by that tune. Others make me so sad that I only need to hear a few bars of the beginning and the tears well up in my eyes and I have to change the song.

This is about the latter.

It Isn't Their Fault, But It Isn't Fair

Driving to work, listening to a CD

I cried. A song reminds me so much

of that sweet, sweet pup

That I can't listen to it any more

It's stupid. It's only a song

And a good one as well

But it's forever tied to her

And her being gone. It's ruined

October 9, 2015 - 0900

As one can probably guess I am an animal lover. Of most kinds, but the small furry ones hold a special place. I am soft like that, but in my line of work if you have to have a soft spot I think that it should be for children, the elderly, and animals. It will keep you humble and remind you that there is not just bad in the world.

The downside is that occasionally the bad will intrude on the good. Children are abused. The elderly are neglected. And animals are injured and killed. This is from a call that I was on a few weeks ago but only now found the words on the page.

Bandit

I got called to a dying animal tonight

Raccoon. Generally thought of as just a ring-tailed rat

Giant vermin stealing garbage

And creeping me out with their tiny hands

But this was a little one. A pup

Or cub or whatever a baby raccoon is called

Maybe a year old at the most

With it's tiny paws (hands?) flexing

With each labored breath

A small part of me died with it

I didn't want it to suffer

But there was nothing for me to do

In front of a school is no place to shoot an animal

But in front of a school is no place to die

I'll check on him periodically

And when he's gone we'll both rest easier